Well, Jesus is doing a great work in me. He is moving in me daily; changing the way i think, act, speak, pray, see, read, etc. He has put a desire in my heart to know Him more than i ever have- to seek Him daily, as He reveals more and more of Himself to me. He has shown me His goodness in more ways than i thought He could and it’s beautiful and my heart is full. i am so stinkin’ excited to see how He uses me this semester, let alone for the rest of my life.
So things in my life are changing, as they often do when you fully surrender yourself to your Creator. The direction i thought my life was headed has taken a sharp left (or right, whatever you want- this is figurative) and i don’t exactly know where i’m going, but i do know it’s going to be good because He is good. The Father has brought me in to a place of complete peace, where i do not question the logistics of His call, because i know that He will work them out. i do not question my ability, because through Him i can do all things. i do not worry about the unknown of next week, month, or year, because i know that He is bigger than anything that could come my way.
Last week, i woke up completely uninterested in the direction my degree was headed. As a freshman, i think it’s almost expected that we change our major a few times before we settle in, but i really didn’t think it would happen for me. i am a planner. i don’t like not knowing what i’m going to have for dinner, let alone where my future is headed. i had the next four years set out and i knew the next step i would take after that. i’d been interested in the subject since i was a junior in high school, i had been clearly lead to it, and i really thought that it’s what He wanted me to study. But as He does some times, The Lord wrecked my plans. Then, He showed me that i was not wrong in thinking that, i did nothing wrong in wanting to plan. He just hadn’t shown me the next step yet, and it’s okay that i was mistaken. Me changing my major does not harm my future, despite what Past Ashton may have believed. The major He has set out for me is different. It is not where i saw myself, despite that my best friends “knew i would end up with it” all along. It is not what i have told the countless people that have asked me what my major is in the past six months, but it is okay. Actually, it is more than okay because it is what The Father wants for me, it will be used for His glory, and it will be good. Unlike my first major, i am excited to go into it because i know that it will be used for His glory.
Tonight, i told my dad that i feel that i am called to the mission field (more on that later). i told him that i am no longer pursuing my original major, but that my life is headed in a new direction. Naturally, i expected him to tell me how unpractical it is, how i need to get a degree worth while so i will be employable after graduation. Thankfully, he did not say any of these things or any other negative thing about it. He told me that he is proud of me for going after something that makes me happy. He’s glad that i’m going to pursue something that will not only change me, but the lives of others. He did not hesitate to tell me that he supports me. He did not give me one of those “parent looks” or those weird “parent pauses” where we contemplate everything we’ve ever said to them before that moment to find out what we did wrong, when they’re just pausing for dramatic effect. He encouraged me, confirming more than anything that i am going in the direction that The Lord wants me to.
In the next few months or years or whatever, i can’t tell you many things that will happen. i know i will get older, i will continue to ignore people when they tell me to cut my hair, i will love my cat more than i should, i will spend too much money on music, and i will be used by The Father for greater things than i ever imagined. In praying about what’s to come in 2014, i didn’t get the play-by-play i wanted, and that’s okay. However, i was clearly shown that i needed to start a blog- that i needed to write about what The Father is doing in me and through me, for the advancement of His kingdom and the glory of His name. i don’t think it would really be fair of me to keep it all to myself, because the change that is happening is seriously mind blowing and it will only get better.