On Being Single
Culture tells me that I need to do everything I can to pursue changing the fact that I’m single. For a long, long time I believed that. I had a hidden ideology influencing the way that I think about myself because of my relationship status. I was dissatisfied with where my God has me in life because I grew up believing that happiness and singleness are not synonymous.
Today, I’m calling crap.
Love Your Enemies
As Taylor Swift's voice came through the speakers and the bass thumped, i heard glass fall in my back seat. i turned around and my heart sank and my body went numb and suddenly the world felt too small. My entire backseat, which had been filled with groceries and my school things and my friend's stuff and more when I left, was now empty. Everything was gone and i couldn't believe it. i ran back inside and found the nearest person. i was at a loss. You hear of car robberies, but what do you do when it's your car? your stuff? your normality?
i am twenty years old and i have lived in three different cities and two states. i have really long, really curly hair and i think my eyes are hazel. i wear a lot of black but i am learning that i like wearing dark red colors, too. i have a lavender bike and i love silence and reading and writing and traveling. There are a lot of things that define me, a lot of things that i just wrote could easily shape the way that people think of me and even the way that i think of myself. If i have learned anything in my short amount of time on this earth it is that we are always growing and changing and seasons are always ending and starting and very few things in life are permanent.
Kevin // Part Four
i am constantly having to remind myself that Kevin is not defined by the fact that he is an orphan. Knowing and loving that little Guatemala has taught me a lot about what God has rescued us out of by making us a part of His family, and i am so thankful for that. i am praying that one day Kevin will get to tangibly understand what it means not to be an orphan anymore. i want him to have a last name and a room to himself and so much more, because he deserves it. He is a punk, but i love him because God loves all of the punks in the whole world.
Shame or Freedom
i am leaving home today. i am currently sitting in my bed drinking coffee and enjoying a slow morning. i've been home for three weeks and it's been really hard and full and slow. i have learned a lot and i've cried a few times and i've watched more movies than i can count. Despite how miserable it has been at times, home has been exactly what i needed it to be.
i am moses
i am Moses trying to convince the God of the Universe that He picked the wrong person. i am Moses reminding God of all of my faults. i am Moses feeling small and human and thinking of nothing beyond my own abilities. i am Moses looking at the bush and still doubting the power of our Creator. i am Moses being humbled and stretched and living awe of who God is.
Within Silence, Peace Awaits
i find that silence is a full thing. It is the absence of noise, but it is the opportunity for much more. It is the opportunity to think, loudly and boldly without anything else hindering what your mind wants to say. It is the opportunity to observe the world within its stillness. Silence opens the door for us to simply be. Silence is full.