mental illness

The Bridge Called Counseling

i'm sitting in this waiting room for the hundredth time. my heart is beating loudly and i feel like i'm going to vomit. i've been here for ten minutes and i should have gone in five minutes ago and every minute that passes is a stronger temptation to run. 

A year ago, i went to my first counseling session. 

Last week, after five months away, i went back.

The Bridge Called Counseling

A Letter to December

Hello again. i've been expecting you. i know that you were waiting with patient, open arms for me to fall into you like i always have. We have such a familiar dance, you and i. You show up, your cloudy blue skies and dark afternoons and you romance me. You tempt me, telling me to let you in and let you win. You want so desperately to have me. You beg! Your spend your nights begging me to walk into the darkness, to let the wave crash over me and drown me. You want to swallow my joy, my confidence, my everything. You are hungry for everything that gives me the drive to get out of bed, hungry for anyone who could make me smile. You try with everything you have, with every minute of your every day to draw me into you.

A Letter to December