Everyday we have class for four hours. We eat a quick breakfast and make the short walk to our school, Colegio Delibes, where we have Spanish thrown our way until we leave. It's exhausting and i have to remind myself why i am here-- why i am choosing to learn this language.
i went to Ecuador in 2012. i went because i wanted to. My dad has always been incredibly supportive of me leaving the country; he constantly encourages me to experience new things. And i'm so thankful for that. When i was in Ecuador, the language barrier wasn't a problem but it broke my heart. i hated that i couldn't communicate with the kids that were stealing my heart. Back then i didn't know much about the Holy Spirit, but when i got on a plane after ten days in Ecuador, i knew that i had to learn Spanish.
Granted, that was four years ago. Right after Ecuador, i didn't make much of an effort to learn anything. i was seventeen and i didn't know much about setting goals or making things happen. But when i got to college, i made baby steps. i decided to spend a summer in Guatemala because i wanted to be emerged in Spanish. My time in Guate pushed to to speak the language more, even if it wasn't always correct. It helped me in class when i got back because i experienced the pain of a language barrier for two months.
Learning a language doesn't come easily for me. i have friends that are able to read a word and remember it forever. i have friends that are able to adapt the perfect Spanish accent, rolling their r's and throwing their words together beautifully, not allowing the people listening to know their roots. But that's not how it is for me. i don't memorize vocabulary easily. And my accent is terrible. Because of those things, i've spent a lot of time contemplating what it would be like to give Spanish up.
Which is why i have to remind myself why i am learning this language. i am not doing this for me. i am not learning all of this because i enjoy embarrassing myself or because i want to be able to say that i'm bilingual. i'm not doing this because i want to-- i'm doing this because i believe that i'm called to.
So i'll continue to learn. i'll keep trying (and failing) in class. i'll keep taking class in the States even after i've finished my requirements. i'll learn and i'll learn and i'll learn. And hopefully, one day, i'll go back to Central or South America and maybe a language barrier won't be a problem.